Favorite Moments in Film

Still think this is one of the scariest scenes ever...

My Problem with Indian People (Part 5 of a 500-part series)

They are never on time. Ever. I'm not exaggerating, they just suck at being places at the appropriate or agreed-upon time. If they make a reservation for, let's say, 8:00pm, I can guarantee you that they won't be there before 8:30, 9:45 at the latest, and complain about there not being a table or the restaurant closing, after trying to contact them 3 times. If there is a party that starts at a certain time, they will arrive at least an hour late, and complain about the food being cold or something else as ridiculous. Just remember, if you're ever meeting an Indian person anywhere, be there at least 40 minutes late, so for once they'll know what it's like to have their time wasted instead of yours.

Why We Aren't Friends With Our Neighbors

Neighbor Lady Person: (Walking by) Wow, you sure you got enough beer there? (on the 20 extra cases of Indian beer we keep in the garage for the restaurant)

My Mom: Well, probably not since we're all alcoholics.

Neighbor Lady Person: Oh, that's... nice.

My Mom: Well, it is until the fighting starts.

Neighbor Lady Person: (Nervous laughing) ...Have a nice day. (Speedwalks away)