Monday, December 1, 2008
Favorite Moments In Film
Tarantino just has a knack for simple yet classic conversations. This is probably the best example (besides the female version in Death Proof), though if Mr. Pink ever decided not to tip in my restaurant I'd cut off his fucking ear.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Favorite Moments in Film
If you've never seen the BMW series of films starring Clive Owen, you've missed out, and I pity you. Back in 2002 BMV commisioned a number of A-list directors to create a series of short films involving their latest models and Mr. Owen as a Transporterish driver. This one happens to by my favorite, if only because it proves that Guy Ritchie and Madonna were able to make something together that made sense, unlike their marraige, Swept Away, or their children, Rocco and Lourdes.
Friday, November 21, 2008
The 230 Movies I Plan To See From Now To December, With Trailers! (Part III)
Cadillac Records: December 5th
Not really into Motown and whatnot, but Mos Def is a national treasure. And Beyonce can kinda act. And Adrien Brody has a large nose.
Punisher: War Zone: December 5th
Tom Jane (who did a fantastic job in his turn) isn't around for this one, but Lexi Alexander is a talented director and the acting talent isn't so bad either. Plus there's a real villain this time!
Frost/Nixon: December 5th
More on this later.
Local Color: December 5th
I haven't seen Ray Liotta in a movie without guns since Smokin Ac...Revolve...Identit...Narc...Bee Movie!
The Reader: December 10th
More on this later.
The Day The Earth Stood Still: December 12th
The original holds a special place in my heart. So does Keanu Reeves. Looks interesting so far, even though they're going with the whole "Destroy the Earth" theme.
Nothing Like The Holidays: Decembr 12th
Melonie Diaz is cute. That's all I got.
Doubt: December 12th
More on this later.
Timecrimes: December 12th
More on this later.
Gran Torino: December 17th
More on this later.
The Wrestler: December 17th
More on this later.
The Tale of Despereaux: December 19th
I like mice. Animated ones.
Yes Man: December 19th
Jim Carrey looks legitimately funny in this one. Let's hope I'm right and this isn't another Love Guru.
Nothing But The Truth: December 19th
Spy-drama stuff. Usually entertaining.
Seven Pounds: December 19th
I feel like I'm going to be sorely let down by this with all the hype surrounding it.
The Brothers Bloom: December 19th
More on this later.
Bedtime Stories: Christmas Day
Russell Brand. Don't give a shit about Sandler, I just want to see Brand.
Marley & Me: Christmas Day
Because nothing says Christmas like a divorce and a suicide case, with puppies! (Yeah, that was mean).
Last Chance Harvey: Christmas Day
More on this later.
Waltz with Bashir: Christmas Day
Heard it was good. Don't remember what it's about.
The Spirit: Christmas Day
More on this later.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Christmas Day
More on this later.
Not really into Motown and whatnot, but Mos Def is a national treasure. And Beyonce can kinda act. And Adrien Brody has a large nose.
Punisher: War Zone: December 5th
Tom Jane (who did a fantastic job in his turn) isn't around for this one, but Lexi Alexander is a talented director and the acting talent isn't so bad either. Plus there's a real villain this time!
Frost/Nixon: December 5th
Local Color: December 5th
I haven't seen Ray Liotta in a movie without guns since Smokin Ac...Revolve...Identit...Narc...Bee Movie!
The Reader: December 10th
The Day The Earth Stood Still: December 12th
The original holds a special place in my heart. So does Keanu Reeves. Looks interesting so far, even though they're going with the whole "Destroy the Earth" theme.
Nothing Like The Holidays: Decembr 12th
Melonie Diaz is cute. That's all I got.
Doubt: December 12th
Timecrimes: December 12th
Gran Torino: December 17th
The Wrestler: December 17th
The Tale of Despereaux: December 19th
I like mice. Animated ones.
Yes Man: December 19th
Jim Carrey looks legitimately funny in this one. Let's hope I'm right and this isn't another Love Guru.
Nothing But The Truth: December 19th
Spy-drama stuff. Usually entertaining.
Seven Pounds: December 19th
I feel like I'm going to be sorely let down by this with all the hype surrounding it.
The Brothers Bloom: December 19th
Bedtime Stories: Christmas Day
Russell Brand. Don't give a shit about Sandler, I just want to see Brand.
Marley & Me: Christmas Day
Because nothing says Christmas like a divorce and a suicide case, with puppies! (Yeah, that was mean).
Last Chance Harvey: Christmas Day
Waltz with Bashir: Christmas Day
Heard it was good. Don't remember what it's about.
The Spirit: Christmas Day
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Christmas Day
Friday, September 26, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
The 230 Movies I Plan To See From Now To December, With Trailers! (Part II)
Max Payne: October 17th
I never really got into the games (since I don't have a Playstation because they're evil) but Mark Wahlberg needs a hit after The Happening and I feel like this could be it. Plus the angel of death stuff looks pretty sweet.
Sex Drive: October 17th
No, really, this looks good, and James Marsden is dreamy, so win-win.
W.: October 17th
There's really nothing I can say other than it has a great cast and a visionary batshit insane director.
What Just Happened?: October 17th
Interesting cast, weird plot. We'll see.
Saw V: October 24th
Never saw Saw IV, but at this point I'm pretty sure story doesn't matter.
Changeling: October 24th
More on this later.
I've Loved You So Long: October 24th
The buzz on this has been pretty good, definitely worth checking out.
Passengers: October 24th
Anne Hathaway.
Pride And Glory: October 24th
A film being in the can for two years before release is never a good sign, but something with Edward Norton and Colin Farrell can't be that bad.
Synecdoche, New York: October 24th
More on this later.
Zack And Miri Make A Porno: October 31st
More on this later.
Repo! The Genetic Opera: November 7th
Watch this trailer then tell me you're not seeing this.
Quantum of Solace: November 7th
They may be great at choosing Bond girls, but they are terrible with titles. I expect a good half hour of the movie to be devoted to explaining it.
Nobel Son: November 14th
Alan Rickman.
Nothing Like The Holidays: November 14th
Because everyone needs a little sappy Christmas family dramadey.
The Road: November 14th
More on this later.
Role Models: November 14th
More on this later.
Soul Men: November 14th
The last performances of Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes. Plus Samuel L. Jackson.
The Soloist: November 21st
Jamie Foxx is overrated. Robert Downey Jr. is underrated.
Austrailia: November 26th
More on this later.
Four Christmases: November 26th
Why the fuck not.
Milk: November 26th
More on this later.
Transporter 3: November 26th
More on this later.
I never really got into the games (since I don't have a Playstation because they're evil) but Mark Wahlberg needs a hit after The Happening and I feel like this could be it. Plus the angel of death stuff looks pretty sweet.
Sex Drive: October 17th
No, really, this looks good, and James Marsden is dreamy, so win-win.
W.: October 17th
There's really nothing I can say other than it has a great cast and a visionary batshit insane director.
What Just Happened?: October 17th
Interesting cast, weird plot. We'll see.
Saw V: October 24th
Never saw Saw IV, but at this point I'm pretty sure story doesn't matter.
Changeling: October 24th
I've Loved You So Long: October 24th
The buzz on this has been pretty good, definitely worth checking out.
Passengers: October 24th
Anne Hathaway.
Pride And Glory: October 24th
A film being in the can for two years before release is never a good sign, but something with Edward Norton and Colin Farrell can't be that bad.
Synecdoche, New York: October 24th
Zack And Miri Make A Porno: October 31st
Repo! The Genetic Opera: November 7th
Watch this trailer then tell me you're not seeing this.
Quantum of Solace: November 7th
They may be great at choosing Bond girls, but they are terrible with titles. I expect a good half hour of the movie to be devoted to explaining it.
Nobel Son: November 14th
Alan Rickman.
Nothing Like The Holidays: November 14th
Because everyone needs a little sappy Christmas family dramadey.
The Road: November 14th
Role Models: November 14th
Soul Men: November 14th
The last performances of Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes. Plus Samuel L. Jackson.
The Soloist: November 21st
Jamie Foxx is overrated. Robert Downey Jr. is underrated.
Austrailia: November 26th
Four Christmases: November 26th
Why the fuck not.
Milk: November 26th
Transporter 3: November 26th
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Restaurant Somewhat Confidential: Some Tips for Surviving the Business
1. If and when your chef gets arrested for unpaid tickets, take an Aleve, call your local jail to locate him/her, find out the bail amount, let the Aleve kick in, and get someone else in the kitchen to cover till they get out.
2. If a customer asks for a dish to be spicy, you make it spicy, they complain that it isn't spicy, and the next time they come in you happen to have a Habanero pepper lying around, use two and don't refill their water. They'll be fine.
3. If you can't see the customer, you don't have to acknowledge their existence.
4. Don't let bad reviews on restaurant review websites get to you, but if they do, feel free to write a couple fake reviews.
5. The Heimlich maneuver works, so if a customer shows the slightest sign of choking, apply it, because violating an ugly person's personal space is much better than dealing with a coroner, because they tend to smell and act like they're better than you.
6. If someone has had a few too many and wants a few too many more, oblige them, cause the tip will be huge (drunk= bad with numbers, white and drunk= really bad with numbers), but call them a cab when they're done.
7. Cheap people live and die horribly. Take solace in this.
8. Don't sacrifice anything for quality. Ever.
9. Keep a good amount of change in the restaurant.
10. When someone complains about the high price of your food, explain to them the factors that go into the price (food cost, fresh ingredients, labor, gas, water, rent, etc.) and then point them in the direction of the nearby Olive Garden that they obviously meant to go to.
2. If a customer asks for a dish to be spicy, you make it spicy, they complain that it isn't spicy, and the next time they come in you happen to have a Habanero pepper lying around, use two and don't refill their water. They'll be fine.
3. If you can't see the customer, you don't have to acknowledge their existence.
4. Don't let bad reviews on restaurant review websites get to you, but if they do, feel free to write a couple fake reviews.
5. The Heimlich maneuver works, so if a customer shows the slightest sign of choking, apply it, because violating an ugly person's personal space is much better than dealing with a coroner, because they tend to smell and act like they're better than you.
6. If someone has had a few too many and wants a few too many more, oblige them, cause the tip will be huge (drunk= bad with numbers, white and drunk= really bad with numbers), but call them a cab when they're done.
7. Cheap people live and die horribly. Take solace in this.
8. Don't sacrifice anything for quality. Ever.
9. Keep a good amount of change in the restaurant.
10. When someone complains about the high price of your food, explain to them the factors that go into the price (food cost, fresh ingredients, labor, gas, water, rent, etc.) and then point them in the direction of the nearby Olive Garden that they obviously meant to go to.
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