Favorite Moments In Film

What I aspire to be everytime I'm shitfaced.

My Problem With Indian People (Part 8 of a 500-part Series)

Everything is a fucking problem when it's not convenient.

An example from last Saturday night:

Indian Deuche: Excuse me.

Me: Yes sir?

Indian Deuche: What is that? (Motions to a sizzler on a table behind them with chicken and a small amount of smoke coming off of it)

Me: That is our Jerk Tandoori Chicken.

Indian Deuche: There's too much smoke coming off of it.

Me: That's actually a normal amount.

Indian Deuche: The smoke is bothering me very much.

Me: I'm sorry about that. It will go away in a minute.

Indian Deuche: Can we change tables?

Me: We're completely full at the moment.

Indian Deuche: Do you plan to sell many more of those?

Me: Of the sizzlers?

Indian Deuche: Yes.

Me: Well we were, but I guess we can stop for tonight and just tell everyone that we changed our menu. Would that work for you?

Indian Deuche: Yes thank you. Come back in a few minutes and we'll give you our order.
Me: (muttered curses)

...

Me: Are you ready to order?

Indian Deuche: Yes. We'll have one Tandoori Chicken, one Seekh Kebab, and two Onion Kulcha.

Me: You do realize that the meat dishes come on a sizzler?

Indian Deuche: Yes, that's fine.

Me: So you want them on sizzlers?

Indian Deuche: Yes.

Me: And the smoke won't bother you?

Indian Deuche: No, it's ok.

Me: ...Alright then.

Favorite Moments In Film

So I've been stuck on a James Cameron binge for the last week, rewatching pretty much all his films. I always forget how good True Lies actually is, how I almost cried when Jack dies (stupid Rose, she could have held on), and how Aliens was the best Alien movie. Oh, and that Ripley is fucking hardcore.

My Problem with Indian People (Part 7 of a 500-part series)

I tried to write the title of this series without using the word hate (which came off awkwardly) but in cases like this I really need to use it because I hate it when they think they own the fucking place. I can deal with the lack of a tip and the tiny orders but I cannot stand the lack of respect and haughtiness Indian people so prominently display. It's this reason that allows them to be comfortable with being complete assholes, letting their kids run wild or complaining more than a table of old Jewish women. You can tell that they're going to have a huge chip on their shoulder when they strut into the place with a grim look on their face and stand in the middle of the dining room waiting to be seated, ignoring the clearly-fucking-delineated waiting area, because they own the place. They will take their sweet fucking time, ordering one dish every 15 minutes until 11pm, because they own the place. They will make ridiculous requests, like saag paneer without paneer but with eggplant and the paneer on the side, because they own the place. They will expect a complimentary dessert because they're Indian, and they own the place. They won't tip because they are under the impression that THEY OWN MY RESTAURANT.

At this point I just need to find the source that instills this sense of entitlement into these people and destroy it, just like how killing the head vampire kills/saves the underlings. In this case, I hope it kills.

Why The Secret Is Dumb

Favorite Moments In Film

I like it when he cries.

The Ones I'm Really Excited For

So these are the films that I think either have a real shot at Oscar gold or look really fun.

Changeling: October 24th
Haven't seen it yet but I heard it was good. Like I'm not going to see something with John Malkovich?



Synecdoche, New York: October 24th
I'm really looking forward to it when I have time to kill. I really am.



Zack And Miri Make A Porno: October 31st
Was pretty good. Not amazing, but pretty good.



Role Models: November 14th
Totally up there with Tropic Thunger, Pineapple Express, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall as the best comedies this year. Love that they got like half of The State in there too.



Slumdog Millionaire: November 21st
Best movie of the year (that I've seen so far).



Austrailia: November 26th
Pretty. Pretty long. Also pretty.



Milk: November 26th
Sadly this came out too little too late. I understand that the studio held it back for better awards consideration, but I think that if they truly believed in the message of this movie, the least they could have done was release it in CA early.



Transporter 3: November 26th
Frank Martin with a bomb strapped to him.



Frost/Nixon: December 5th
Frank Langella is due an Oscar nom sometime soon, and this role might just nab it for him. Also, I just have to say, his full frontal in Starting Out In The Evening? WTF.



The Reader: December 10th
Kate Winslet nude. Again. She's aging well.



Doubt: December 12th
PSH. Amy Adams. Cruella DeVille. Pretty great cast.



Timecrimes: December 12th
Mexican sci-fi that doesn't involve midgets.



Gran Torino: December 17th
I hope this is more than "angry old man on lawn" jokes.



The Wrestler: December 17th
Mickey Rourke living Mickey Rourke. Best actor right there.



The Brothers Bloom: December 19th
Rachel Weisz.



Last Chance Harvey: Christmas Day
Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson had a great chemistry in Stranger Than Fiction, and thankfully someone recognized it enough to give them starring roles together.



Waltz with Bashir: Christmas Day
Heard it was good. Don't remember what it's about.



The Spirit: Christmas Day
From what I've seen it seems like this is going to suck a lot. What's that? Samuel L. Jackson in a Nazi uniform? I'll be there.



The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Christmas Day
Most anticipated anticipated movie of the year. Based on one of my favorite short stories and directed by David Fincher.