Wednesdays With Oliver

Let me preface this edition of W.W.O. by assuring the doubtful that yes, Oliver is a real person, and yes, he is this ignorant.

Oliver: So like do you guys ever wear turbans?

Me: No. Never. Please stop asking questions.

Oliver: So which Indians wear turbans?

Me: Jesus fucking... OK, the main religion in India is Hinduism, which is SEPARATE from Islam, and in Hinduism, there are different sects, like in Christianity, and one of them is the Sikhs, and part of their religion is to wear turbans. We are not Sikhs. I am not religious. Did you follow all of that?

Oliver: Yeah.

Me: Good.

Oliver: But like, my brother's a radiologist, and he said that most Indians and Arab people wear turbans, and he's pretty smart bro.

Me: OH MY FUCKING GOD!

Oliver: I thought you weren't religious.

Me: Was that a joke? Did you actually make a smart joke?

Oliver: No man, he's really a radiologist.

Me: (Sigh) That's great. Go talk to Tony for awhile.

Oliver: He told me to talk to you a little bit ago.

Me: TONY YOU FUCK!