Wednesday, January 21, 2009

My Problem With Indian People (Part 8 of a 500-part Series)

Everything is a fucking problem when it's not convenient.

An example from last Saturday night:

Indian Deuche: Excuse me.

Me: Yes sir?

Indian Deuche: What is that? (Motions to a sizzler on a table behind them with chicken and a small amount of smoke coming off of it)

Me: That is our Jerk Tandoori Chicken.

Indian Deuche: There's too much smoke coming off of it.

Me: That's actually a normal amount.

Indian Deuche: The smoke is bothering me very much.

Me: I'm sorry about that. It will go away in a minute.

Indian Deuche: Can we change tables?

Me: We're completely full at the moment.

Indian Deuche: Do you plan to sell many more of those?

Me: Of the sizzlers?

Indian Deuche: Yes.

Me: Well we were, but I guess we can stop for tonight and just tell everyone that we changed our menu. Would that work for you?

Indian Deuche: Yes thank you. Come back in a few minutes and we'll give you our order.
Me: (muttered curses)


Me: Are you ready to order?

Indian Deuche: Yes. We'll have one Tandoori Chicken, one Seekh Kebab, and two Onion Kulcha.

Me: You do realize that the meat dishes come on a sizzler?

Indian Deuche: Yes, that's fine.

Me: So you want them on sizzlers?

Indian Deuche: Yes.

Me: And the smoke won't bother you?

Indian Deuche: No, it's ok.

Me: ...Alright then.