Favorite Moments in Film

If you know me, you know I'm a sucker for long takes. Like everyone else, I also love a great piece of dialogue. This, perhaps, is my favorite combination of the two, from a movie I have seen 183 times (I'll probably watch it again tonight, so 184).

Favorite Moments in Film

A popular trend in Hollywood for the past decade has been comedic actors taking serious turns on film: Jim Carrey, Will Ferrell, Robin Williams, and Bill Murray. Some really hit the mark (Bill Murray, Lost in Translation) and some don't and should never try again (Will Ferrell, anything even remotely dramatic). One surprising example is Adam Sandler in Punch Drunk Love, which is an amazing film by PTA that really allows Sandler to show his depth as an actor. The combination of his tortured performance and Anderson's direction makes this one of my favorite and most memorable films.

Wednesdays With Oliver

I had to fire Oliver 2 weeks ago for being terrible at his job, not for being an idiot, but I'll leave you with one last gem.

Oliver: How come some Indian people have normal names and some have weird ones?

Me: You mean how some have Catholic names and others have Indian names?

Oliver: Yeah.

Me: Well some Indians are Catholic and get Catholic names and some are Hindu and get Hindu or traditional Indian names.

Oliver: That's dumb. They should just choose easy names like John and stuff.

Me: Yeah, and they should wear gold stars on their clothes.

Oliver: Do they do that?

Me: Have you ever heard of the Holocaust?

Oliver: Is that a band?

Me: Are you kidding me?

Oliver: Why? Is it a really good band? Are they metal? I love metal bro.

My Problem with Indian People (Part 6 of a 500-part series)

This past Saturday was ridiculously busy. One of the chefs didn't show up, dad had to be in the kitchen, house was packed all night, and we ended up doing 117 covers (we're a 40 seat restaurant). Throughout this craziness, an Indian family came in with an online reservation for a 4 seat. I sat them down and handed them menus, asked their drinks a few minutes later (4 waters no ice), and gave them some time to decide on dinner. After 15 minutes (they asked for more time) with 3 tables waiting at the door, they decided to tell me that they didn't want to eat. Why? Because it was too expensive.

(Most) Indian people are cheap. There it is. When they come into the restaurant, I don't expect to write much of an order let alone a reasonable tip. The majority of families will come in and order 1 dish and 4-5 breads, which is like 1.5 pieces of chicken or paneer per person. After eating and expressing their enjoyment of the food, they will always complain that it's too expensive. No matter how amazed they are with the quality, it's always too fucking expensive. It's behavior like this that causes us to say "Oh shit, desis" under our breath when they walk in, which makes us look like dicks, but whatever.

This character trait doesn't just apply to food, but to all facets of life. Every transaction becomes an opportunity to haggle or complain, no matter how much money they make from their cushy IT job (yes I stereotype fuck you very much). Many of the people my parents know are disgustingly rich (Newport Coast rich) and praise our food every chance they get, yet haven't been to the restaurant within the last 10 years, because they're fucking cheap. They will continue to frequent the cheapest, crappiest Indian fast food Orange County has to offer and pretend like it's fucking ambrosia, because who could say otherwise about $5.99 for Tandoori chicken?

Indian people are often portrayed as either uptight or laid back and carefree, but I think we all know which way they really lean. They need to lighten up and enjoy the money they work so hard to make. If Asian people can do it, god knows desis can too.