Monday, April 7, 2008

BMW Drivers Are Douchebags

No matter race, gender, or sexual preference, if you drive a BMW, you're a douchebag. Be it the teenager in the souped up M3 or the old Asian lady in her Z4, they all feel the need to race or "smoke" (in the parlance of our times) everyone around them. Granted I occasionally indulge my need to race or show off, but if you're behind me on the freeway and we're both going the same speed, there's no need to switch lanes, speed up, pass me, then switch back to my lane ahead of me and continue at the same fucking pace. All BMW drivers seem to think they own the roads, just because they're driving a second-class German luxury car (Mercedes are 10X better you pricks, there, I said it). So if you're in a BMW next to me going up a hill and I'm in my GMC Savannah and I see you try to pass me, I will speed up and block you. Although you may be a douchebag in a fast car and I'm in a large clunky van, I'm a Mercedes driver first, so I'm an asshole, but at least I'm not a douchebag, douchebag.

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